So it’s been like 4 days since my nut head has pooped, but this morning she was kind enough to leave me a Hershey’s kiss in her diaper. I think she did this because she knows that if she doesn’t poop by day four I will give her a poopinator (aka glycerin suppository.) So she huffed and puffed and left me an early birthday present.
It’s morning and I tell dear hubby Billy that today is LC’s dr. appointment so I will be BUSY all day (like I’m super important or something.) He’s all “Okay, whatever.” I’m all: “Hey, I’m super busy I don’t have time to talk on the phone or play on the computer all day.” Then he’s all looking at me like I’m crazy. Then I tell him, I’ve been reading way too many sarcastic humor blogs lately and he should just bear with me.
So I took LC to the doctor for her 6 month well check up. Okay so maybe I told her we were going to the park but really we were going to the doctor. I know, I know, it’s mean but hey she’ll forget about it by…. see she already forgot. While walking in the door Billy calls me. I’m all: “(Sigh) yes?” Him: “What are you doing?” Me: “I’m at the doctor with LC.” (Said in an “as if” tone.) Him: “Oh yeah, I’ll call you later.” Me: “Yeah, that would be best because I’m SUPER busy being a mommy right now.” Okay, so I took her for her check up and she is doing GREAT! Even though she was two months premature she does everything and more that a 6 month old should do. See, I told you she’s a super genius. GO LC! She even told the doctor all about how she is the prettiest girl in the world and smartest on earth too! Well it sounded more like “aya ya yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, agooooooooooooooooooo, pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbllllllllllllllllllll.” Which translated says I’m the prettiest and smartest little girl in the world.” So the doc says she’s thoroughly impressed with LC’s development (ahem… ahem… thank you, thank you.. First I would like to thank my mom for being a great example, then God for everything else.) She then proceeds to tell me that while for length and weight she’s in the 50th percentile but that her head is still in the…… 95th. Then she laughs. This is mostly because the last time LC was there we had to have a whole discussion on how her head is growing REALLY fast and then I was all, “she totally gets her big head from me :(” (that’s me frowning as I tell the doctor this.) So this time she just laughs at me about my big ass head.
So the doc decides to check LC for anemia (she had it at birth) A nurse comes in who instantly falls in love with LC (I mean really, who doesn’t.) She pricks LC’s finger and LC acts like she’s all big and bad and it doesn’t even hurt. But then the nurse who ALWAYS gives her shots came in. She saw her and instantly cried. Um….. wow that is some kind of power because LC doesn’t cry hardly EVER! So then that nurse gets upset and is all, “Angel, you giver her her shots. She already hates me.” I’m all “um…. could we just do this.” We proceed. Now, what ensues is not meant to be mean but damn this shit is funny. When LC was getting her shots she did the silent cry. You know the one where the face is all scrunched up, mouth wide open, tears streaming, but NO NOISE. This made me about fall out laughing. Not sure why, but it’s hilarious when she does this. After I get her chilled out we go home. Okay, so I cheated on my diet and went to Arby’s and then we went home. Geesh people, let it go. It gave me heartburn anyways, so I learned my lesson.
I get the cutie home and settle her into her swing. She naps a little and wakes up to eat. She gets some of her bottle down and then I have the BRILLIANT idea (because she was being a poo poo head about finishing her bottle) to try and let her drink it out of the bottle like it’s a cup. Well, my brilliant idea turned out to be the WORST ever. While I had it to her lips she hit the bottle with her hand and the formula poured ALL over her face. It was like she had just taken a milk bath. Well, technically she had a milk facial. Whatev. At first she didn’t realize what had happened but had a look of shock on her face that quickly changed to a look of horror. Needless to say I cleaned her up and fed her the bottle the normal way. Lets just say that she was NOT a poop head about it this time.
This time I’m going to giver her tylenol every four hours in order to avoid having demon child emerge.
Now she is laying on the floor pushing herself in circles while making raspberries with her lips. See why I call her nut head.