So my mom never told me….


 

 

 

My mom never told me that when you are pregnant it feels like someone has kicked you in the va-jay-jay until you give birth (or in my case the child is removed by force.) She also didn’t tell me that you will not shit for at least three days after you give birth. WTf! That shit is not cool. I suggest to all mother’s to be that you take the Senecot that they give you. Take it. Don’t ask questions. Just take it. Also, she didn’t tell me that baby poop takes on the color of whatever your child eats. For example, I fed LC blueberries and she had purple poop. Also, I fed her peas and her poop was green. Um…… that was not cool when I accidentally stuck my finger in it. Not cool at all. I totally tried to make Billy smell it and he wouldn’t. He said something along the lines of “why would I want to smell it?” and I told him “what, you don’t want to know what chicken and broccoli smells like coming out?” Apprently, he does not. Whatev. It smells worse than when it goes in. We’ll just leave it at that.

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